She must have put a spell on me because I was never usually like this.
We met at a rooftop party on a warm summers’ evening. This wasn’t the sort of environment that I’d usually pick up girls in, but when I saw her, I just had to speak to her. There was something different about her.
She wasn’t dancing provocatively the rest of the girls in there that night, I could tell she wasn’t trying to stand out or be noticed. Dressed very modestly, with little make up and her hair in brads, it was nice to see someone who wasn’t trying too hard, like most of the other women in our generation.
I leaned against the wall, watching her for a couple of minutes, before leaving the group of guys I was with to approach her. We got to talking, the conversation flowed so easily, as if we had known each other for years.
“Are you single?” I said into her left ear as we stood in the midst of the crowd.
She laughed, before nodding. “If I wasn’t single, why would I be talking to you?”
We swapped numbers before leaving the party, and stayed up talking until the early hours of the morning.
***
It was so weird; we barely knew each other but somehow we seemed to get each other, everything flowed so easily.
Maybe that’s what scatted me off…
We went on a date a few days after first meeting and everything went so well, we kissed goodbye at the train station and then went our separate ways.
Maybe I was just used to women demanding too much and pressuring me into something serious, but it just felt too good to be true.
Maybe I just lacked confidence in myself, but I felt this sense of unease, like she was hiding something, and I’d later find out she was married with kids and wasn’t really interested in me.
I woke up to a good morning text from her. I looked at my phone screen, contemplating things, before eventually laying my phone face down on the bed.
She called me later that night but I couldn’t bring myself to answer, I couldn’t face it.
A couple of days passed, before I realised I hadn’t replied, when she sent another message – “so you’re just gonna ignore me like I did something to you?”
I could tell she was pissed, but I just didn’t know what to say or do. I liked her, I liked her a lot. But a part of me didn’t feel ready so it felt easier to push her away.
I finally opened her messages a few hours later, but still didn’t respond.
She never contacted me again and a few days later, her WhatsApp picture and status disappeared.
Then I realised how amazing she was. But it was too late. There was no going back from how stupidly I had acted. I spent many nights thinking about her and what we could have had but I had ruined any chance of having a happy ending with her.
She deserved better than me anyway.
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